Unwindings.org

As God leads me through this transition in my life I have the privilege of hearing from many of you whether in email, your blog comments or in person. Some of you have offered words of encouragement and support while others have expressed skepticism, disagreement and opposition toward my direction. Frankly, I completely understand why all of these opinions exist. It is a direction that takes me and my family outside of the comfortable and passive Christian walk that is so easy to grow accustomed to. As I continue to listen to various  opinions and speak with those willing to have an open dialog with me, I am also experiencing something else in my own life that priceless – honesty. True authentic and honest look at my own life. Is what I believe more than just academic information that I can regurgitate back to people? Is this life in Christ as real as the air I breath? All Christians naturally avoid the discomfort of being vulnerable and transparent but God who specializes in veil removal, the same veil that Moses continued to wear after God’s glory had faded, wants to pull back those veils in our life so that we will depend on Him in openness. As I gather with believers and share what God is doing in us from week to week regardless what it may look like, the Spirit in each of us can willingly move among us through our unique spiritual gifts. For many this seems frightening and random but God has called me to trust Him on this level and has promised me that I along with others who join me will experience the fullness of Christ as we gather while surrendering to Him (Eph.1:22,23). I trust that Father will deliver what He has promised.

For many believers, experiencing the working of Spirit on this level never happens because there is so much other distracting noise in their life. Can you imagine the difficulty of being open and vulnerable at a church gathering while the Spirit does His perfect work in you meanwhile having to stay on a schedule, play music on queue and preach for a pre-designated time? Add in crying babies, broken air conditioners, dysfunctional microphones and a person’s ringing cell phone. Most of our time and energy is spent making sure that the system is running smoothly all the while the Spirit yearns to minister among us. I am reminded of Charles Hummel’s classic Tyranny of the Urgent (Read free copy here) where he describes how the chaos of this earthly life hijacks our walk of faith. I am not so foolish to believe that Simple Church is problem-free but it does afford the believer an opportunity to gather, share, learn, listen and express Christ without most of the noise that has crept into our gatherings. I desire to see and hear from God through my brothers and sisters in Christ and follow that up with specific encouragement. What does the Spirit sound like in my 10 year old analytical son or in my 7 year old free-spirited song bird of a daughter? Is God’s Living Word nothing more that a compilation of short stories to them or is it living and breathing in their life? This is where God wants me to go… beyond the common and comfortable and into the personal and real.

For all of you who choose to continue to go to a traditional church I do not condemn you in any way nor will I mistreat you. You are free to make that choice and go where you believe God has lead you. I have much to be thankful for as God grew me in the traditional church. My prayer for you can be your prayer for me – that we will grow in the grace and knowledge of Christ and experience the fullness of His life.

What an outpouring of encouragement from many of you regarding my previous post (Part I). More and more people like you are coming forward and expressing a desire to openly grow in Christ but just feel that there is no allowance for that in many of today’s traditional church gatherings. It’s not that the traditional church expressly forbids an open expression of faith but instead cannot break free of a pre-set agenda long enough to experience the wonderful leading of the Holy Spirit. The tendency in the traditional church gathering is to avoid any awkward moments of silence or breaks in the agenda by quickly filling in these gaps as though they were bad or harmful. There seems to be an immobilizing fear in showing that we are flawed as we respond to God in front of each other. The approach of “doing” church meetings perfectly with the same look and feel as theatrical performance is deeply ingrained in the mindset of many Christians and supported with statements such as “God is not the author of confusion therefore we must keep the meeting flowing in an orderly fashion” or “To not have an agenda is to potentially poorly presents the Gospel therefore causing others to lose faith or reject Christ.” I know what it is like to try very hard to organize and lead a church gathering - I have done so many times and found it to be exhausting and difficult to duplicate on an ongoing basis. Each time I walked away worried if I did a good enough job, if I said the right things, if I sang the right songs, etc. Oh my – is that what celebrating our life in Christ is about? Certainly not.  In all of this fleshly human control the Holy Spirit is inhibited rendering Him of no effect in our lives and in our gatherings (Gal.3:3; 5:1-5). We are called to be active not passive participants as a normal part of our coming together. This will at times look and feel foreign to us with moments of awkward silence or meetings not flowing exactly the way we had envisioned. The celebration is the believer’s active involvement during the meeting while allowing the Holy Spirit to organize and guide the direction of the gathering. Yes, you guessed it – this is an act of faith for all those in attendance. Wow, imagine that… responding in faith to God’s plan as a group of believers.

For all of you who read this blog regularly or possibly even know me personally you have the opportunity to watch God work in my life because I have chosen to put it on public display. It is what Father has laid on my heart. It comes at a personal cost to me at times with some criticizing from the shadows which I have talked about before but the blessings I experience have begun to eclipse those moments of personal doubt and anxiety that come from the critiques. God has been incrementally setting me free in so many ways – some of which I see and also in ways that others have to point out to me.

This last weekend I had a life-changing moment that was so disruptive, so obvious that Father might as well have parted the clouds and audibly spoke to me face to face. His revelation on a scale of 1 to 10 with 10 being the most clearly understood was a 20.

In an effort to protect those I really do love and do not want to hurt I will simply say this – God has absolutely called me, Cory Crabtree, out of the traditional, institutional church: the only kind of church I have known for 39 years. Sunday was a day I will never forget and will undoubtedly serve as a life-long reminder to me of what The Church really is and is not. I have struggled to know what is happening in my Home Group that meets in my living room every Tuesday night. What is God doing? Although all Christians are part of God’s family, the people that come together in my living room truly feel and act like family. They are there not out of obligation or duty but to share the living breathing life of Christ in them. Young and old, encouraged or discouraged – they participate and interact unlike any other Christian gathering I have ever seen. I have also struggled to know how to minister to my own children who view church as some place we go to on Sundays and not who we are as Christians. But my struggle is over… I now know where God wants to take me, my family and anyone else who willingly chooses to go – not to another church building down the road or across town but into The Church!

Just a few months ago on February 17, 2010, a women by the name of Felicity Dale left a comment to one of my posts on this blog and also sent me two URLs to consider. Yesterday, I followed those links which brought me to several YouTube videos that God has been preparing me for.  Thank you Lord for your patience with me as you had to grow me for many years before I could see and understand what you are doing in me. Let The Church Arise!!!

Here is the first of those YouTubes.

As is customary, I woke up early this morning unassisted but not to complain because mornings are a wonderful time for me to think, mediate, pray and workout which most often happens all at the same time. Having this one to two hour time block uninterrupted really helps set the tone for the rest of  my day. This morning I awoke to the thought of Grace in the most ungracious places. I realize that this may sound strange but I have grown accustomed to identifying those thoughts and circumstances in my life that are not my own and this morning’s thought certainly falls into that camp.

About 4 years ago I read Preston Gillham’s book Grace in Ungracious Places which I recommend to anyone trying to figure what and who Grace is. Pulling this book from my shelf I opened it once again to read the following:

“In a shrewd act of genius, our heavenly Father reveals his grace in ungracious places, just as an astute jeweler displays a diamond against a dark backdrop. People relate to people,  and Father wants  to make sure we get the point: Grace is a person, and he is engaged in our daily life no matter where  that engagement takes him, even the dark and ungracious places. What an incredible journey we are on as we watch God reveal his heart to us. If you have ever had to travel alone you know the loneliness of a solitary journey. God is no different: He hates to travel by himself. As a matter of fact, he determined that he would rather die than embark on the journey without us. He made the trip from heaven to earth alone and does not intend to return without company. Grace is his invitation to us to reach our destination with him and celebrate the journey throughout eternity.“

Instead of me thinking that I in some way am pursuing the far reaches of the universe for the grace of God… Grace is pursuing me. Wow – I gladly receive this reminder from Father… from Papa and in turn share it with you.

Everyone wants to be recognized for something. It feels good, it pumps us up, momentarily labels us as important and makes us feel in a small way like we somehow make a difference in this crazy, chaotic world. You know exactly how that feels – we all have felt it at some point. It is undeniable when it comes whether in receiving an award for an accomplishment, doing well on a difficult test, or being called out for a job well done. It is completely natural as every one of us has this innate desire to fit in somewhere. Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden completely fit into God plan until they disobeyed at which point the “fitting in” stopped. Today we still try to fit in even though the earthly plan we inherited from Adam is broken. This is precisely why we can “fit in” temporarily but then experience the feeling of that  acceptance and importance eventually begin to slip away. We have to constantly DO more and more in order to feel the same level of importance.

I was outside recently and saw a young girl walking her dog. The girl had purple, white and black hair, knee-high combat boots dressed in all black. My heart sank as I realized that she was silently announcing her identity with a community of people in whom she finds acceptance. Unfortunately, it is a false identity and will only temporarily fill the void that Adam’s sin caused in the Garden. There are those who claim to be free of needing to be accepted by rejecting the norms of society but even in that there is a false identity. There are the more subtle false identities of those living out of their own accomplishments or vicariously through their children’s accomplishments. The nuances of false identities are nearly endless.

Yesterday I was reading in John 20 verses 3-8 and noticed something I have really never fully appreciated before. Jesus had been dead lying in the tomb for three days when the disciples came to the tomb and found it empty. Peter came and entered into the tomb and what did he find? Jesus’ grave clothes lying there. It was Jesus’ former representation that was left behind. All that represented death was shed because… Jesus WAS ALIVE!!!! That is truly fantastic because it was Peter who had just come through a terrible identity crisis. Peter who was once devoutly loyal to Jesus betrayed him unto death by trying to get acceptance from the mocking crowds. Jesus’ very first lesson in the resurrected life was that He shed the old, dead former man and came forth completely new and alive. What a lesson for the early believers then and for us now.

Knowing that our identity is not wrapped up in anything earthly but only in Christ unshackles the Christian to live in unending freedom while still on the earth. Just think… as a believer we are alive in Christ – alive in very One who defeated Satan and death and will one day reclaim this chaotic world with us by His side. Now that is Hope worth living for!!!

For many of you maybe you have never realized the flawed philosophy of church going. The term is common and often times come up in casual conversation about plans for the weekend. I have had many occasions when asked what were my plans for the weekend and I would respond with “on Sunday I go to church”. It is such a branded term that Christians are hard pressed as to what to say they do on Sundays other than use the phrase “go to church”. I remember the earth-shattering moment that I came to question the “go-to-church” versus living as part of The Church debate when reading Ray Stedman’s book Authentic Christianity. In no way can I capture all of Stedman’s instruction but I can tell you what God did to me. For much of my life I viewed performance-driven christianity as normal where I did things for God simply because that is what Christians were supposed to do. I attended church-related services and events faithfully even though I hated doing so. I wore the correct “church clothes” which meant wearing my best for Jesus because I thought that is what He wanted. I never talked about my problems because it would prove that I was a hypocrite which I secretly thought I was anyways. I played the piano and eventually sang at church-related gatherings because others told me I was wasting my God-given talents if I didn’t. Like a good resume, I developed a “canned” testimony of when I was saved as a means of convincing others that I was not as phony as I felt. What I became was a good-looking, well-behaved “church goer” which is nothing more than a “church doer”.

Yet when you take time to explore the 1st Century Church and how they interacted you begin to uncover the same truths that Ray Stedman wrote about so often. In 1 Cor.14, Paul has given us wonderful instruction on how The Church should interact when they come together. Wait! What do you mean how The Church should interact? It is almost if The Church is people and not a building. Ding! Ding! Ding! That’s right! Christians are The Church, the Body of Christ, The Bride of Christ. What this truth does is drives a stake into the heart of the philosophy of being a church goer. The Church is not where I go but who I am. As a believer and recipient of Christ’s love and forgiveness I am now an active participant in His family. I am part of The Church whether at work, or in my garage or at the gym… or wherever else I might be. That never changes. What a release it was for me to crawl out from under the things I was supposed to do as a Christian and learn to live according to who I really am in Christ.

I stopped “going to church” a little more than a year ago and now as part of The Church I desire to meet and gather with like-minded believers where we can express the wonders of God’s grace as experienced in our daily walk. Maybe you too can experience this wonderful radical change. Trust God and He will do it.